Walmart and the Waffle Theft
by Bird That Flies At Dawn
Summary: Alice and Bella lead the group of Cullen siblings to Walmart. Along with stealing waffles, what else could these crazy vampire kids do? Nothing could go wrong, could it? Sequel to Shopping: The Horror. CRACKFIC
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is the sequel to Shopping: The Horror. I left the last story off with the Cullens (except for Carlisle and Esme) about to head to Walmart and steal waffles, and that is where this story begins. My fans from the previous story know how I update, but for those of you who don't, I write short chapters but update quickly.**

**Disclaimer: Do I own Twilight?**

***Crowd echoes a loud no.***

**Boo all you people.**

**Bella POV**

I crept along the aisles, hugging closely to the shelves. Alice gave me a nod and we rushed forward, nearly attacking the long row of freezers.

"Grab the blueberry ones!" Alice shouted, tearing open the freezer door and accidently ripping it off its hinges. "Oops!"

"Take the door too!" I responded.

Alice gave me a stern look and a salute, holding up a package of chocolate waffles. "How many?"

"As many as you can carry, so all of them," I replied.

"He he he," giggled Alice. "Where are the others?"

"I really don't know…" I trailed off, thinking.

"Waffles!" Alice exclaimed.

She and I now had at least a hundred boxes of waffles each, nearly tripping over our feet that we couldn't see, and that's saying something because we're vampires. Vampires aren't clumsy and they don't trip, so really, I repeat, that's saying something.

I again thought of our lost siblings. Well technically, they were just MIA. But still…_Where are they?_


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Chapter two! Yay! This was inspired by my sister…so yeah…**

**Disclaimer: I told you last chapter…why are you still here! Read the chapter!**

**Emmett POV**

We walked the aisles casually, having lost Alice and Bella long ago. We could probably find them easily if we tried, but honestly we didn't want to find them.

I suddenly spun around and faced Rosalie. I made sure there was no space between us. I grabbed her arm and started to squeeze it. "I think I have Tourette's."

She gave me and odd look and contradicted, "No. You have pervert syndrome."

"Was that meant to offend me?" I questioned.

"Yes and no," she responded.

"I am not a pervert," I added.

"Sometimes you are," Jasper argued.

"Isn't that offensive to people that actually have Tourette Syndrome?" Edward asked.

"Why would it be?" I looked at him confusedly.

"Because you might have it," Jasper interrupted Edward as he was about to answer.

Instead of mentioning his previous comment, Edward said, "Vampires can't even have diseases, Emmett."

"Yeah yeah yeah." I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I do have a disease."

"What's that then?" Edward waited for an explanation.

"I don't really know."


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: It feels good to be back to writing crazy stuff.**

**Disclaimer: This question causes me pain.**

**Bella POV**

"Alice, hang right," I instructed.

Alice turned to the right, holding all of the two-hundred boxes of waffles now. I had become the navigator and she the pack mule. That was when we bumped into the others.

"Hey, guys!" I called out to them.

"Wanna help?" Alice asked, obscured almost completely by her load.

"No, not really!" Emmett shouted at us before fleeing with Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward on his tail.

I could tell Alice was pouting behind her waffles and I comforted her, saying, "It's alright. Alice. You've still got me."

And with that we were again creeping to the back door. We made it quickly, throwing in some awesome ninja moves as we dodged and ducked. I opened the door slowly, making sure there was no alarm. "Clear!"

Alice rushed through the door. I guided her to the car, unlocking it and opening the trunk. Slowly but surely we unloaded half of the boxes into the trunk. Then we put the last of them into the backseat. We gave each other a ninja-like bow and got into the car. Driving off we abandoned our siblings at Walmart. May they shop in peace.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I have yet another chapter of randomness for uploading. Yay!**

**Disclaimer: I now have to sing a song to kill your ears.**

**Rosalie POV**

These people irk me. Like seriously, did Emmett really have to "accidently" trip that old man? I was afraid he was going to call the security guards, but Emmett booked it out of there. That man left in a huff, complaining about how youngsters were so rude.

Well you know what? It's just Emmett. Why am I even mated with him? He's a nut. Oh well. At least he didn't do something even more stupid. Like—

"Hey guys!" Emmett ran up to us, carrying a whole arm load of…condoms.

"Emmet? Why? Just why?" I got out in my shock and frustration.

"We're going to throw them into random people's carts," he explained.

I swear my jaw almost dropped, but then I remembered it was Emmett and regained my composure. "Fine, but I'm not taking part in this."

Edward and Jasper looked at each other before shrugging their shoulders and catching up to Emmett. They obviously thought it would be a funny prank.

I now wonder if they're insane as well. I mean come on. Throwing condoms into people's carts? This is far past my expectations of them being out of their minds. I don't even know how to explain it. I just shook my head and trailed outside to find my car. When I was standing next to an empty parking spot I realized what had happened.

"Alice! Bella!"


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Another chapter! Yay!**

**Disclaimer: Tada! Another chapter about a story that I do not own!**

**Alice POV**

I drove the car around a corner…and straight into a tree. "Oops."

Bella face-smacked. "This is ridiculous. How did you crash the car?"

"How do you know I crashed the car?" I asked Bella.

"I saw you drive it into a tree!" she screamed.

I shook my head. "I think you are mistaken."

Bella shivered with anger. "I am so not taking responsibility for this."

"I never asked you to," I stated.

"Well if I didn't crash the car and you didn't crash the car, then who crashed the car?" Bella questioned.

"What car?" I wiggled my eyebrows at her, hinting that we didn't know what happened to the car.

Bella laughed as she exited the car. "I get what you mean now."

"So, do you want to go to Dairy Queen?" I proposed.

"Sure. I'm in the need for a blood blizzard," she said.

"I didn't think they had that flavor." I got out of the car too then and we started to walk off down the road.

Bella just shrugged and followed after me.

"To Dairy Queen!" I threw my fist into the air.

"To Dairy Queen!" she echoed.

We both stepped into the forest and took off at super hero speed toward Dairy Queen.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Here's another chapter! Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Disclaiming!**

**Random Worker POV**

I thought that nothing could get worse than working at the mall, but it was then that my nightmare walked into the room. I let out a scream as soon as I saw the pair. Then I fainted.

"We just wanted a blizzard!" The short one called over the counter, my sub-conscious processing this even though I wasn't awake to respond.

"Yeah. Wait, Alice! Stop!" Another voice called as I began to wake up.

It was then that I sensed the weight that hit me. It felt like someone threw a bag of bricks lightly at my chest. That is, if you can even throw a bag of bricks lightly, which I doubt you can.

I was again pushed under the black.

"Look what you did, Alice. Now we have to wait even longer for our blizzards!" The second voice screamed.

Alice answered with, "Well I'm so sorry for being excited!"

"Well…I'm just not happy okay!"

"Fine."

**Five Minutes Later**

"I'm bored."

"Oh well. It's your own fault."

"Whatever."

"Still bored."

I started to wake up again, but yet again the feeling of bricks hit me.

"Alice!"


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Chapter 7! I hope it sustains your inner cougar…**

**Disclaimer: No.**

**Random Worker POV**

I couldn't believe the two arguing in front of me can call themselves sane. They had introduced themselves as Alice and Bella, but then started an argument over who lost their shared wallet. By the way, who shares a wallet?

"I didn't have it on me!" Bella screamed.

"Well I sure as heck wanted a sundae, so don't blame me!" Alice screeched back.

The two went on fighting like this for quite some time. I wanted to cover my ears and cry in frustration. Where was the asylum when you so desperately needed it!

"You know what," I suddenly said, "I'll give you both free sundaes if you just shut up!"

The pair of beyond beautiful freakazoids met eyes and nodded their heads in unison. Really, could it get any odder?

I quickly escaped to making their dumb sundaes while I heard them whispering back and forth. If only I had understood their words sooner, it might have saved me half my life expectancy.

**Alice POV**

"We should play with him. It'll be fun," I suggested, my eyes lighting up in excitement.

"I don't know," Bella responded uncertainly.

"Come on," I pestered. "It'll be totally awesome!"

"Fine," Bella agreed.

I laughed, and Bella smiled, thinking of how hilarious this would be.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Number 8! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

**Disclaimer: Sadness.**

**Random Worker #2 POV**

When I began my work at Walmart, there was no one to help me with angered customers. Especially when they weren't even angry with the store. This girl was beautiful, the runway model type. Her gold eyes held my curiosity though; I didn't even know people could have gold eyes. Maybe she was wearing contacts. She stormed in, throwing a fit and screaming at the person next to her. Apparently someone stole her car and she was blaming the guy next to her though he hadn't done anything. Or at least as far as I could tell in the situation.

"She took my car!" the blonde yelled.

A big, beefy guy next to her responded, "Rosalie, calm down. What could she have done?"

"Emmett, it's Alice! She could have run it through a building for all we know!" Rosalie raged.

It seemed like they were going nowhere. Maybe if I interrupted them they would stop their fighting.

I strode up to them and said, "Hi, I'm Steve. Welcome to Walmart!"

Rosalie glared at me and Emmett started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Steve…is…a…funny…name!" he got out between laughing bursts.

I just sighed and stood there, watching him. These people had some problems, that was for sure.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Chapter 9! I hope the Dairy Queen Guy lives!**

**Disclaimer: Why!**

**Alice POV**

I stared at my ice cream dubiously. Why did I ask for this? It looked disgusting. I threw it to the side. Bella did the same. "So…what's your name Random Worker Guy?"

"My name?" The guy looked nervous. How hilarious!

"Yes. Who else could I be asking?" I rolled my eyes.

"Uh…my name is Ralf," he answered.

I nodded, silently laughing. Ralf? That name so fit him as well as it didn't.

"So, Ralf. Do you like ice cream?" I asked.

"Ice cream? Uh…I guess it's okay," he replied.

"You can have my ice cream!" Bella shouted, playing along.

"Mine too!" I added. "I want you to love me!"

"He's mine!" Bella growled.

I grabbed his arm over the counter. "No way!"

She grabbed his other arm. "Yes way!"

We tugged lightly, probably seeming like a stronger pulling to him. We didn't actually want to kill the poor guy.

"Get your own Ralf!" I glared at Bella.

"I don't have to because this is my Ralf!" Bella argued, giving me the evil eye.

We screeched randomly as we pulled, fighting over the ice cream guy.

It was pretty funny. At least I thought it was. Bella thought it was. Ralf didn't seem to think so.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Chapter 10! The chapter of awesomeness!**

**Disclaimer: Grrrrrr!**

**Bella POV**

The guy…No way did he just…Anger poured through my veins, but surprise as well. The human had stood up to us. The HUMAN had!

That dumb ice cream guy had called the cops, and we couldn't fight the cops without being exposed, and that would be very, very bad.

So I let the cop handcuff me, Alice doing the same. Although she pretended to put up a struggle, just to savor her reputation as the crazy one. Plus she wanted to fake being tazered…anyway…

The cops were now stowing us away in a jail cell, and it was at that moment that my eyes met his and terror coursed through my veins. I felt the words flow out of my mouth in a whisper, "No, it can't be…"

But it was. It was the Goth Dude.

He stepped closer to me and pulled on his sassy smirk. I shrieked and slammed myself into the cell bars.

"No!" I screeched. "Anything but this! Someone save me! Anyone, please. I don't want to endure this kind of torture."

But nobody responded, of course. They ignored me, not taking me seriously. But this was serious, very serious.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Chapter 11! The Goth Dude is back!**

**I was asked if the Goth Dude will ever be given a name, and the answer is no. Is name IS the Goth Dude!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine!**

**Bella POV**

He haunted my already plagued mind. This guy before, no, this _monster_ before me tortured me in the very recesses of my thoughts! I'm a vampire and I'm calling him a monster, so yes, this situation is very bad.

It was then that the Goth Dude truly noticed me, he stepped closer. We were almost touching now, my eyes gone wide with fear and shock. "Stay away from me!"

"I missed you baby," he purred, schooching even closer, smooshing me up against a wall.

"Well I certainly didn't miss you!" I screeched.

"Aw, defiance. That's hot!" he pointed out.

"Hotter than you'll ever deserve," I screamed.

"Yeah, but you know you want me," he said, ogling me with perved eyes.

"I actually don't just to let you know." I glanced around myself anxiously, searching for an escape, but there was none.

It was then that Alice approached us. She sent a mischievous stare at the two of us before approaching the Goth Dude.

"Hello, I'm Alice. And that girl you're sitting next to is my girlfriend."


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Uh oh! What's gonna happen now?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters…no matter how much I want to.**

**Bella POV**

No way! Why did Alice just say that! The Goth Dude looked between us before smiling. "That's hot."

I gaped at him. That's unbelievable. He did not just say that…but he did.

"So…wanna go out?" he asked.

Alice glared at him before shoving her wedding ring in his face. "We're married you creeper!"

Obviously The Goth Dude didn't have a suitable comeback.

"I thought so!" With that Alice let out a hmph and stomped over to the corner, dragging me along as well.

"Thanks," I mumbled to her.

"No problem," she answered. "But I get to play Barbie with you when we get back."

I let out a groan. When Alice "Barbied" me up she did my make-up, hair, and clothes. That was one of the most horrible experiences I've ever had. Gosh, although Alice may be a great sister she is seriously controlling. Sometimes I wish I could hide form her. Unfortunately, that's pretty impossible. You know, being vampires and all.

"Wanna play Go Fish?" Alice wondered.

"Alice we don't even have any cards!" I pointed out.

"We can use rocks," she suggested.

I sighed. This was going to be a long wait until we were bailed.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: I just realized this story is going to have so many more chapters than ****Shopping: The Horror ****if I want them to have the same word count. Oh well.**

**Disclaimer: Go away you people attacking me for…wait, what do you want again?**

**Bella POV**

"Do you have a brown rock?"

"No. Go fish."

"Do you have a rock that's shaped like a triangle?"

"Yeah. Here you go."

"How about a rock with black polka dots?"

"This game is stupid!" I suddenly shouted, throwing all of my rocks at the jail wall. They left little dents. I turned away then, whistling nonchalantly. I didn't make those indentations, what are you talking about? The Goth Dude was staring over my shoulder.

He then commented, "But you were winning that game by three pairs!"

"I don't want your opinion!" I screamed, angry that he was still around. Didn't he get a clue?

"That's hot."

Obviously not.

"Beeellllaaa!"

"What, Alice?' I sighed, already rolling my eyes.

"I win because you quit," she told me.

"Why did you have to point that out?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Felt like it."

"Holy crap! What's that?"

The shout was none other than The Goth Dude's. Alice and I turned around to see what he was freaking at, and we totally did not expect what stood in front of us.


	14. Chapter 14

** AN: I know you guys were upset about the cliffy, so I updated right away!**

** Disclaimer: It's! Not! Mine!**

** Bella POV**

"Hurry up! I want my car back!"

With narrowed eyes I stared down into the hole. "Rosalie?"

"Yea. Now where's my flipping car?"

In the corner of the jail cell was a hole. Rosalie still looked like a model, more like a trucker model, but a model still.

"Did you find your car?" Emmett's shout echoed from the hole.

"Not yet. Where's it supposed to be anyway, in the jail cell?" Rosalie retorted.

"Why not?" Edward asked.

Rosalie just sighed and shook her head. "I want my car."

"Too bad I crashed it into a tree," Alice blurted.

"Alice!" I hissed.

"YOU WHAT!" Rosalie screamed.

"Didn't you hear me. I crashed it into a tree," Alice repeatedly nonchalantly.

"Alice!" I snarled.

Rosalie was visibly shaking with anger. In a snap she had her hand around Alice's leg and began to pull her down into the hole.

"No!" Alice cried. "I don't want to be dragged down the deep, dark, depressing, vampire filled hole!"

"You're a vampire, Mrs. Shopaholic," I pointed out.

"I know, but you guys are vicious." With that Alice disappeared int the hole. She would forever regret stealing Rosalie's car.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Another chapter! AHHHHH!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is in fact not owned by me.**

**Bella POV**

Should I escape down the hole and face an angry and deadly Rosalie, or stay in the jail cell and deal with The Goth Dude. I stared between the two, trying to decide what I wanted to do.

"Uncertainty," The Goth Dude interrupted my thoughts, "that's hot."

The hole it was! I immediately jumped down the hole and shouted, "Peace obsessive pervert!"

I landed softly on the bottom of the hole and stood up in a rush. Stretching, I glanced around myself warily. It would be at a time like this that Rosalie would attack. I didn't sense her presence anywhere near, but who knew with that crazy, conceited vampire.

I sighed and ran at a quick pace, but never did I forget to check my surroundings. It was then that an eerie glow erupted on the wall to my left. I studied it for a while, wondering what it could be. I stared at it from different angles, but never did its origin become clear.

It was then that I felt the hand grip my ankle, and I let out a bloodcurdling scream.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Another chapter? Yes, this is indeed another chapter.**

**By the way, I give credit to...I forgot who you are, sorry...for coming up with the idea of having The Goth Dude grab her. Thank you random person who's name escapes me.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not S.M., and I will not pretend to be...or at least I won't admit it...**

**Bella POV**

I stared down and screamed again. This was so much worse than I imagined. The hand that was gripping me was none other than The Goth Dude's. "Hey, Creeper, you mind getting' your slimy fingers off of me?"

"Sure, hot stuff," he told me, releasing my ankle.

I shot daggers at him. If he died his death would not be on my hands. I envisioned that future.

**In Bella's Vision**

Two people sat on a couch. The T.V. In front of them was showing what was supposed to be a sad story.

"Today a young creeper Goth was murdered. This man, who's name is unknown and it's not like anyone cares anyway, was ripped in half and totally beaten up. It looked as though someone had thrown him against the wall multiple times."

"Well doesn't that sound inviting," the woman said, speaking to the man who sat beside her who was probably her husband.

"Things happen, and if you're a creeper Goth person I wouldn't expect anything else."

"That's hot," was a whisper that sounded through the air.

The supposed couple met eyes and then screamed, "Ghost! The creeper lives!"

**End of Bella's Vision**

Bella gave a horrified expression as she stared at the ceiling. The Goth Dude come back to life? Maybe killing him wasn't such a great idea...


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Okay the idea of torture goes to naruto'sonlyfriend. I hope I spelled your name right!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, but if I did...**

**Rosalie POV**

"No!"

The cry of Alice just made me laugh again.

"Now what should I burn?" I asked her.

"No! Please don't burn anything else!" she was openly sobbing, but of course there were no tears. We couldn't produce tears.

I pulled out a shirt with a huge dragon on it this time. I guess this is what's catching fire. I pulled out my lighter and the shirt easily caught. I threw the flaming shirt into a corner.

"Mister Dragons Pants!" Alice screamed.

"That was a shirt," I pointed out.

"So?" Alice just stared at me blankly.

I just shook my head. That girl is so confused.

I pulled out an imp statue this time. "Did you steal this from the mall?"

"Uh...I didn't do any such thing!" she denied.

I shook my head once again. Apparently the insane vamp is also a liar and a thief.

"How am I going to burn this?" I wondered.

"You aren't," Alice offered hopefully.

I just shrugged my shoulders and proceeded to throw the statue at a wall.

I laughed as Alice again began sobbing and petting her broken, stolen imp statue.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Chapter eighteen! Ahhhh! I'm getting so far in this. I hope you guys love it!**

**Disclaimer: If a disclaimer was the story, then this would be really boring. So I'm going to skip right to the good part.**

**Emmett POV**

"Go!"

Jasper and Edward raced. It was obvious who was going to win, except they played dirty. Jasper tripped Edward and kept going, gaining speed. Edward, now infuriated, threw himself at his brother and tackled him to the ground. The two now rolled around in a pile of mud, fighting to be on top.

I was laughing so hard that I thought I'd cry, and vampires don't even produce tears. I was so glad that I'd left Rosalie to join my bros. This was much better than helping her fight to get her car back. Hopefully I snuck away successfully...

"So, you guys having fun?" I asked.

They didn't even stop to hear me. They just continued their fighting.

"You fight like a girl!"

"You fight like a werewolf!"

"At least the wolves can put up a fight!"

"So can a girl! Have you ever seen Rosalie in an argument!"

That ended the quarrel. I have seen Rosalie fight, and man can she put up a throw punches.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: The nineteenth chapter, I'm so proud. It just might cause me to torture Bella...I am going to give you a wild chapter to balance out the calmer one that I updated with last time.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but if I did that would be extremely awesome!**

**Bella POV**

My sanity. Oh my poor, injured sanity. It was currently writhing on the ground, crying out in pain. Unfortunately, it was unable to recover because a certain goth guy was stomping all over it. His annoying voice then interrupted my tortured thoughts.

"Hey, hottie!" He called from where he was attached to my ankle.

I had already proven earlier that there was no physical way to detach him without injuring the human. I bared my teeth at a wall. Taking my anger out on a wall you say? Well yes, yes I am. My sanity is bleeding and dying as we speak, or did I forget to mention that?

"Why don't you leave me alone?" I sneered.

"'Cus you're extremely hot," he explained in a 'duh' voice.

I rolled my eyes. "Is that the only reason?"

"No, maybe, yeah," he muttered.

"What about my personality?" I cried, pretending to be hurt.

"You have a hot personality, babe, don't feel upset." The Goth Dude gave me a stare full of shining and perverted eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: I only got one review last chapter, but I updated none the less because I just felt the need to. I hope you guys like this chapter! I also have an idea for a sequel, but I wanted to know if you guys want one. Do you want a sequel?**

**Disclaimer: Is Twilight mine?**

**S.M.: Twilight is certainly not yours!**

**Me: There you go, it has just been proven that Twilight is not mine!**

**Bella POV**

The Goth Dude now had his legs wrapped around me as well. I narrowed my eyes and then slammed him gently into the wall. He screamed out in pain and fell to the floor grasping his side. Okay, maybe that wasn't as gently as I thought it was...

I took my exit from this section tunnel a step at a time before The Goth Dude was completely out of view. Good to know that he's gone! That's when I heard the screams. I could tell it was Alice, but this was more pained than she had ever sounded before. Not once in my human or vampire life had I heard her scream like this.

I rushed down the tunnel, sprinting as fast as my inhuman legs could carry me. That's when I saw her, and it. It being Rosalie. Wait, why did I call her it anyway? Brain lapse! Anyway, Rosalie was throwing statues against walls and throwing clothes into a fire she had built. For some odd reason the beauty queen was doing the chicken dance over the destroyed items.

What was going on here!


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: Ooooh, sorry to tell you this, but this story is coming to an end soon. Good thing there's going to be a sequel! Again...**

**Disclaimer: Twilight, happens to not be owned by me.**

**Rosalie POV**

It was at that moment that I spotted Bella. "Awwwwwww, snap!" I bolted from the cave then, a terrified Alice at my heels. When Bella was confused she threw a temper tantrum. This was to be no exception.

"Why? What is going on here!"

Bella's heavy and frustrated footsteps could be heard from behind us. I kicked Alice and screamed, "Hurry up, Dip-thong!"

Alice hissed but somehow managed to increase her speed. When we reached the sewer entrance...wait a minute. What the heck? Weren't we underneath the jail? Whatever!

"Im going to kill you, wall!" Bella screeched.

I threw Alice at sewer entrance hole thing. "Battering ram power, go!"

"Rosalie!" Alice shrieked as she hurtled toward the cave wall and at the metal. Realizing it didn't hurt as she impacted with it she started to laugh. "Wheeee!"

Now hearing Bella getting closer Rosalie jumped and held onto the ceiling and Alice for dear life.

"Fee, fi, fo, fum, this Bella is going to eat you. Yum yum," Bella roared.


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: I can give you the name of the sequel now! It's The Swearhouse Haunting.**

**I want to see you try and decipher that story! There's only going to be about two or three more chapters for Walmart and the Waffle Theft...**

**Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine!**

**Edward POV**

"What is that?"

"If I knew I'd tell you!"

"What should we do?"

"Run our little vampire butts off!"

We then bolted in the opposite direction. That thing behind us could be anything, we were too confused to really take a close look at it anyway. It could be a huge, purple monster with pink stripes and a large blue bow. I shivered. That thing would haunt my dreams if I had any. That is the scary beyond scary, the scary that the Transformers would see from there planet and go, "Oh no! The Megatrons sent reinforcements! Flee!"

It was then that I heard Emmett scream, "Oh no, it's scarier than we thought. It's the girls!"

"Nooo!" Jasper fell to the ground, pounding the soil where he lay. "It can't be, we'll never survive."

I grabbed Jasper's arm and pulled him up. "Man, we have to live. Do it for the children."

"Edward, if I had children I would." Even with this opposing message out there, Jasper stood.

"Do it for manhood!" I restated.

"For manhood!" The other two echoed.

It was then that the girls approached us. This could only could only lead to catastrophe.


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: I'm sorry that I haven't updated for a few days!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Pssh, I knew that.**

**Bella: I would have to disagree with that.**

**Me: Don't you be bloody snarky with me!**

**Bella: I'm just too clever for that.**

**Me: *Grumbles under breath***

**Bella POV**

I saw Rosalie and Alice racing towards he guys for cover. Their facial expressions were absolutely priceless. Jasper seemed to be in pain, Emmett looked like he was going to have an accident, and Edward was staring at his surroundings, probably scanning for an exit. Rosalie and Alice both seemed panicked and frightened.

We stood like that for a moment. As I fully calmed down my sisters crept out of their hiding places and approached me.

"Ready to go home?" Alice tentatively asked.

"I guess. It's not like we have anywhere else to go," I responded.

"What came first, the chicken or the egg?" Edward asked out of no where as we began walking back to the house.

"The egg."

"The chicken."

"The hippo."

"The hippo?"

"Yeah, didn't hippos come before chickens?" Emmett questioned incredulously.

"That didn't relate to the conversation at all!" Rosalie screamed.

The others just shook their heads at the arguing couple and continued on their way home.


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: This is my final chapter, but later today or tomorrow (hopefully) I should be putting the sequel up! Eeep!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight, which is not owned by me, is totally awesome!**

**Rosalie POV**

"Carlisle, for the last time, we don't know what you're talking about." I rolled my eyes. This was getting absolutely no where.

"I swear I thought I saw Bella and Alice getting arrested on TV," he opposed, obviously not believing the lie we were feeding him,

"Well you thought wrong," I retorted.

He narrowed his eyes and stared for a moment before sighing and turning away. He knew he had lost as well as we knew Emmett was probably watching porn upstairs. Not that I wouldn't kill him for that later...

Esme was currently cornering Jasper and Edward, screaming and lecturing about how they could revise there sentences to eliminate the curse words. That was going to be a difficult lesson to teach. Alice and Bella were in the corner, screaming and hollering about ghosts and something about being goth. Me? I was just trying to live in this hostile environment. I just have to take it one step at a time...more like one sigh and irritated scream at a time. Maybe I'll just be able to get away with escaping out the door.

I crept toward the door, trying to escape their craziness. I was going to make it!

"Rosalie!"

Or maybe not.


End file.
